THE GAME

David sat across from me hunched over the chessboard, quietly taking his time. Finally, he looked up and said, “Your move.” I looked down at the board and tried to concentrate, but I could feel him watching me. Did he know? 

       It was a Saturday afternoon and Gloria had invited me over to see their new house on the lake. She said David would love to see me again, and she seemed so positive about it that it felt rude to refuse. I was given the grand tour and was suitably impressed, their new house was, without doubt, more attractive than the one I had been in several times before.  Afterward, David gestured towards the board and asked, “Do you play?” It was a question that caught me completely off guard because I loved the game. I hadn’t played since I’d won the sixth-grade chess championship at Palisades Elementary School three years before, so I said, “Yes, I know how to play.” Then David asked, “Want a game?” I felt the hair on the back of my neck stiffen, but I said “Sure.”

       We sat down near the fireplace in two comfortable chairs and set up the board between us on a small table. We were in the sunroom overlooking the terraced backyard and the lake beyond. The only sound in the room was the soft crackling of burning wood. Minutes passed quietly by, the pace of the game slowing after our initial opening moves. David was obviously a better player, but he was patient and kind, offering suggestions in a gentle and encouraging way. I found myself growing to like him, which troubled me, but my game was improving under his guidance and I began to relax somewhat. I still couldn’t shake off the feeling that he had to know about Gloria and me. I began to wonder how long I could sustain this pretense of boyish innocence when Gloria entered the room. She carried a platter of cheese and crackers and grapes and apple slices. She smiled brightly and moved with energy. “I thought you might like something to snack on while you played”, she said and bent over to set the tray down on the small side table. Then she stepped behind David, put her hands on his shoulders, looked down at me, and she winked. Everything inside of me froze for a second. I looked across at David who studied me with an expression of puzzlement on his face as I realized my mouth was hanging open and I had stopped breathing. I faked a small cough and quickly shifted my attention to the nearest object of interest, the food tray, and said, “Oh, look! Cheese!, I love cheese!” I reached over and picked up the cheese knife and cut off a large slice of Camembert and shoveled it into my mouth. I looked over at David and Gloria who both smiled at me. I began to feel like a specimen in a Petri dish, so I pushed a few crackers into my mouth as well, followed by a handful of grapes and an apple slice. 

        And now, having no idea what she might do next to destabilize my already fragile composure, I worried she might flash her bare chest at me from behind David’s head. That didn’t seem far off the realm of the possible considering how delighted she seemed to be with herself. I began to sense again a mild panic rising in my chest, trailed by a new sense of anger. The ink on my driver’s permit was barely dry and a dangerous secret hovered in the room as I played chess with David, PhD. in Psychology, who studied people for a living. It was a certainty that if he found out about the affair, I’d probably be dead long before I could ever legally drive.
       Before I could think of what next to do, Gloria leaned over David’s shoulder and said to me, ” I think you could use some lemonade, young man.” With an amused smile, she exited the sunroom, leaving David and me alone to finish the game.
       David and I would play many games of chess over the course of that summer; they invited me over often on Saturdays. It became a regular thing: we’d play chess, eat lunch, hang out at the water’s edge, go swimming, and I began to believe in it all, that these relationships were real and genuine. But it was hard to square these feelings with what was going on behind David’s back, and I found it increasingly difficult to look him in the eye. Gloria, on the other hand, seemed totally unfazed and unconcerned by any of it. She continued to play the happy hostess, and play with me in more ways than one. And I did participate. 
      I fully believed in this impossible fantasy. It was never a game to me.