RUNNING NAKED

       The first sound was silence, palpable and immense. The second sound was my breath being taken away. Stepping out of the car, I entered an impossible cathedral, tall beyond imagination, and ancient. The redwoods reached up over a thousand feet, to a shaded ceiling pierced by pinpoints of light like stars in the infinite night sky. The Muir Woods were the oldest living thing on earth, and they commanded immediate respect. Even my thoughts whispered as I looked up.

       We had driven up from Berkeley to spend the day hiking and exploring Muir Woods Park. My new friend and current roommate and I were both taking the summer session at UC Berkeley. Finishing my freshman year back in New York and having no notion of what to do with myself until fall semester, I decided on a whim to check out the university where so much of the cultural revolution had taken place. Why not? Maybe the campus there would still be engaging and swarming with protests headed by Angela Davis or Abbie Hoffman. That could make for an interesting summer.

       But I was disappointed, nothing was happening on campus. No protests, or angry radicals with bullhorns, whipping crowds into feverish excitement. People were simply going about their business, calmly and quietly. The days of anti-establishment and anti-war seemed to have spent themselves. Telegraph Avenue, the flashpoint for many of the student marches, was slumbering.

       The week before the end of the summer session, my roommate and I drove his car up to The Muir Woods. We agreed to take separate solo hikes. The plan was to meet back at the car in three hours. The weather was perfect, not a cloud in the sky. There were no other cars in the small clearing that served as a parking area. Heading off in opposite directions, I followed a lightly trod path winding through the thickening forest. Within a short time, I was deep into the shadows of the giant redwoods. The air around me cooled, and the sounds of the forest began, as if in welcome to my presence. It was impossible not to relax in this magical world. Impossible to hang on to the pressure of attaining purpose and staying one step ahead of nagging anxiety and pointless sorrow. Here, in the land of these giants, I heard that I was safe.

       I must have walked for a good hour when I saw further down the path a brightening. As I got closer it became apparent that this was an opening out of the forest; an aperture into something new. Accustomed to the muted shadow light of the forest, this opening became so bright, I squinted and shaded my eyes with my hand. Stepping out of the forest, through this opening, I saw, with amazement, a huge golden field of grass, sloping gently upwards to a perfect horizon of brilliant blue sky.

       The summit of this golden hill wasn’t far away and it seemed to challenge me to reach its crest. Walking through the grass, I felt a soft breeze tugging me forward. The air had a fragrance different from the deep forest which smelled like secrets. I began to feel a new excitement. The grass waved in swaths and swirls, billowing around me like a tribe of undulating dancers. Moving slowly up the incline of the field, a thin line of deep blue began to muscle its way between the gold of the field and the light blue of the sky. With each step, this line of deep blue continued to broaden, until, my heart racing, I reached the rim of the hill and the Pacific Ocean exploded in silent immensity before me. 

       Taken completely by surprise, having no idea I was anywhere near the ocean, I stood absolutely still, staring down and out to a horizon hundreds of miles away. This massive expanse of power and dominance gut-punched me in a way that defied description. I felt infinitesimal and infinite at the same time. Sitting down in the grass, I was consumed and captured by what I saw before me. There were no ships on the water in front of me, no man-made structures of any kind.

       After a few moments, obeying an unexamined impulse, I leaped to my feet and took off my clothes.  

      Once completely stripped, I put my tennis shoes back on and started to run. Fast. As fast as possible. The field was at least a hundred yards wide, and I ran from one end to the other, circling the perimeter, leaping and sprinting and laughing, yelling with abandon in communion with this moment. I felt the wind cooling the sweat on my body, and the sun warming first my back, then my belly. After one full lap, I was greedy for more and circled the field again.

       Finally, out of breath, I returned to my clothes and sat down, smiling with pleasure. Folding my arms across my knees, a unique kind of happiness slowly overcame me. Then I laid down, and closed my eyes, and listened to the soft ocean wind brush through the golden grass. I still had a little flame of joy in my heart that couldn’t be taken away.